


neverland

by thunderylee



Category: Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 02:19:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12333489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Sometimes you don’t have to grow up.





	neverland

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. written for trope bingo (against all odds).

It doesn’t occur to Tegoshi that the person he’s visiting could have moved in the past three years until he’s standing outside the door, bundled up like an Eskimo because it’s ridiculously cold outside even for November. The car parked in this apartment’s assigned spot is different, anyway, but that doesn’t mean anything in their line of work. Tegoshi gets a new car every year.

It’s not that late at all, only dark outside due to the early sunset, but the face that answers the door looks annoyed like the knocking had woken him up. His expression changes drastically when he sees Tegoshi, forehead creases smoothing out while his lips make a small ‘o’ of surprise. He looks exactly the same as when Tegoshi had last seen him, maybe a little older, definitely not any taller.

“Your hair is black again,” is all he says, voice low and rich like always, and Tegoshi feels things he hasn’t felt in years.

“Your bare ass is all over the Internet,” Tegoshi replies, earning a scoff of laughter from the man leaning casually in his own doorway. “Can I come in?”

Ryo stands to the side, an unspoken invitation. “What are you doing online, anyway? Don’t you have enough work to do?”

“There’s always a way to fit everything in if you manage your time well enough,” Tegoshi chides, because he has to get one you-left-us dig in on principle, but Ryo just closes the door behind them and folds his arms while Tegoshi shrugs off his three layers of outerwear.

“I was never good at that. Want some hot tea?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Tegoshi answers a little too enthusiastically, laughing at himself when Ryo grins at him. “Please.”

He huddles under the kotatsu like he’s here all the time; the layout is the same, at least. He had only been here a few times even when they were in the same group, but the small familiarity is still comforting. That’s why Tegoshi came here, after all—for familiarity.

It’s quiet until Ryo returns with the tea, the atmosphere only a little tense from the long time they’ve spent apart. Tegoshi’s insides warm up from the hot drink and he relaxes, unaware of how nervous he’d been until it went away.

“How are you?” he asks, because sitting there in silence is _killing_ him. “I miss you.”

That last part just comes out, but Tegoshi doesn’t rush to backtrack. It’s true, anyway. He wouldn’t be out in this weather if he didn’t. His cup makes a defined clink on the table as he puts it down, his hand shaking more than he’d like. Maybe he shouldn’t have come here after all; he’d rather Ryo remember him screaming hurtful things than fumbling like a teenage girl.

“That hair color reminds me of when you were young,” Ryo says first, and Tegoshi snaps his head to pay attention. “You were so naïve and innocent and inexperienced at, like, everything…and I was your favorite person in the world.”

“You were,” Tegoshi agrees, remembering when he would sit in Ryo’s lap like a child, following him around like a puppy because Ryo gave him the most attention, adored Tegoshi to pieces even when the others would get annoyed with him. Ryo wasn’t his best friend by any means, but Koyama pushed that member-ai shit after the first reformation and it was easy to latch onto Ryo, eating up the constant affection.

Ryo sighs as he leans back against his couch, pulling the kotatsu up to his shoulders and looking like a child himself despite pushing thirty. “Ah, why do we have to grow up?”

It’s so immature that Tegoshi laughs, repeating Ryo’s actions and feeling warm for reasons other than the kotatsu as he regresses six years. “Getting older is inevitable,” he quotes. “Growing up is optional.”

“Do you still hate me?” Ryo asks in a low voice, and Tegoshi shivers at the harsh bite of reality. “The last time we talked…”

“I was mad at you,” Tegoshi cuts him off. “I meant what I said, because that’s how I felt at the time. I understand why you did what you did—Yamashita-kun, too—but I didn’t have to like it. I felt like you were both abandoning me, you especially.”

“And now?” Ryo asks. “How do you feel now?”

Tegoshi considers his words carefully. “Now I just miss you. I’m not mad anymore, but I’m not going to apologize for what I said. Just like you won’t apologize for what you did, and shouldn’t. As much as I’d like the world to revolve around me, it sadly doesn’t.”

“You really have grown up,” Ryo says, and Tegoshi turns his head to see that Ryo’s serious. “I’m oddly disappointed.”

Tegoshi laughs. “I can whine if you want.”

“I’d rather you just smile.”

Just to be a brat, Tegoshi flashes his best idol grin. Ryo rolls his eyes and Tegoshi’s expression fades into a proper smile, his mind racing with memories while his heart races with feelings. It’s all so much that he has to sigh, which has Ryo giving him a curious look, and suddenly Tegoshi’s tired of whatever game they’re playing here.

“You know I had a crush on you, right?” he asks, trying to act like it’s not a big deal when it’s probably the biggest deal of all.

“I thought it might be something like that,” Ryo replies, his tone softening. “I kept waiting for you to tell me, but you never did, so I figured I was wrong.”

“I wish you would have said something,” Tegoshi says, sucking in his lips for courage. “It was torture to be so close to you all the time and feel like that.”

“I think you would have hated me even more when I left, then.” Ryo scoots closer, bumping their shoulders, and Tegoshi closes his eyes as the contact washes over him in warm waves. “You were always important to me, Tego-nyan, far beyond member-ai.”

The old nickname has Tegoshi smiling despite himself, slouching a little to rest his head on Ryo’s shoulder. Tegoshi is bigger now, but somehow they fit perfectly. “Is it too late?” he whispers.

He expects Ryo to ask for what is it too late, but he just slings an arm around Tegoshi’s waist and pulls him into an embrace. “I think the time is just right.”

His words vibrate Tegoshi’s cheek, his heart beating in the background and Tegoshi has to fight not to give in completely, not yet. There’s one more thing he needs to say: “Don’t leave me again.”

“I didn’t leave you the first time,” Ryo says gently, and as much as Tegoshi wants to argue, he knows that Ryo is right. “Get up here.”

Just like many times before, Tegoshi does what Ryo says without question, but this time it ends with Ryo in his face, those dark eyes peering into his. “Ryo-chan?”

“Tell me,” Ryo demands, grabbing both of Tegoshi’s arms underneath the kotatsu and turning Tegoshi to face him. “Tell me now what you never told me then.”

It would be frightening if Tegoshi wasn’t bigger, if he didn’t know how passionate Ryo could be about things that are important to him, if Tegoshi hadn’t known Ryo since he was fifteen years old. He feels the strength in Ryo’s hold and knows right then that he hadn’t been the only one, that Ryo had also gone through the mental anguish of having feelings for someone he shouldn’t have, that walking away from Tegoshi had killed him just as much as it killed Tegoshi.

But they weren’t in the same group anymore. “Even now, I still love you.”

Ryo kisses him. It’s not earth-shattering and Tegoshi doesn’t gasp in shock, but he does like the way Ryo’s lips feel against his and wraps his arms around Ryo’s neck. He kisses back, a little too excited until Ryo slows him down, hands firm on Tegoshi’s back to pull him closer.

They barely break apart, breaths heavy as Tegoshi waits for whatever Ryo has to say to that. When Ryo just kisses him again, he realizes that Ryo’s saying it right now, returning his feelings in his own way that has Tegoshi’s heart bursting more than if he’d said the words.

Everything within Tegoshi is protesting when Ryo pulls back, fists grabbing onto Ryo’s shirt to halt him. “I’ve wanted you for six years,” he hisses, sounding more desperate than he intends, but it keeps Ryo right where he is. “Please don’t stop.”

“Not here,” Ryo breathes, gently prying Tegoshi’s fingers open and into his own. “You deserve better than the floor.”

Tegoshi accepts that, making the effort to get to his feet and follow Ryo down the hall. He doesn’t have much of a choice, since Ryo is more or less dragging him by their joined hands, but the forcefulness of it all just shows Tegoshi how much Ryo wants this, wants _him_.

He expects to be thrown down onto Ryo’s bed and isn’t disappointed. Watching Ryo crawl predatorily up his body is one of the hottest things he’s ever seen, pulling a faint moan from his lungs before Ryo even touches him. Ryo smirks at this, looking down at Tegoshi like he likes what he sees before lowering his head to capture Tegoshi’s mouth again.

This kiss is deeper and more heated. Tegoshi’s lips part obediently for Ryo’s tongue, which lures out his own and makes his mind spin each time they touch. All he can do is cling to Ryo’s arms as he’s devoured by Ryo’s mouth and hands that splay all over him, sliding underneath his shirt and feeling his skin directly. It has Tegoshi arching beneath him, legs spreading to let Ryo fall between them, and somehow this feels like his first time all over again, like it should have been.

Fingers find his nipples and tease them into peaks, his noises muffled by Ryo’s mouth that stays firmly fused to his. Tegoshi wants to touch Ryo too, but all he can manage is pulling up Ryo’s shirt enough to smooth his hands over Ryo’s back, the muscles tense under his palms.

Ryo gives a quick rock of his hips and Tegoshi chokes on his next breath, feeling Ryo harden against his own arousal that’s swelling in return. He’s wanted to do this for so long that now that it’s happening it seems surreal, like a dream, though he doesn’t recall ever having a dream this hot. He whines a little when Ryo breaks their kiss, but it’s just long enough to pull their shirts over their heads and Tegoshi’s protests fade into encouragement as Ryo’s hands drop to his belt.

The first brush of Ryo’s knuckles along his cock has him coming back to life, reaching down to open Ryo’s pants and return the favor. Ryo’s bigger than he expected, making him groan at the thought of having this inside him, filling him over and over. It has him squeezing Ryo more tightly than he should, swallowing Ryo’s noises that make him curl his fingers and stroke properly.

This time it’s Tegoshi who pulls away, tossing his head back to moan when Ryo thumbs his tip. “Ryo,” he gets out, frowning when his pants catch on his thighs as he tries to move them. “Ryo, please.”

It’s a combined effort, but the last of their clothes hit the floor and Tegoshi can finally wrap his legs around Ryo, spreading himself open invitingly. Ryo’s mouth drops to his neck, licking and sucking hard enough that Tegoshi’s going to have some explaining to do when he gets back to work, but right now it feels too good to care. At least it’s scarf and turtleneck season.

Ryo reaches over into a drawer without detaching himself from Tegoshi, returning with a tube and a foil packet that has Tegoshi shuddering in anticipation. His hips are already bucking before Ryo even touches him, slick fingers trailing up the inside of his thigh slowly enough to drive him crazy. He wants it so badly that Ryo doesn’t have to try very hard to push the first finger in, moving it around a bit before joining it with another.

“You feel so good,” Ryo breathes into his neck. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to be inside you.”

“I bet I do,” Tegoshi replies pointedly, and Ryo gives a short laugh as he angles his fingers deeper. “Mm, right there.”

Ryo moans with Tegoshi, pressing against that spot a little harder as Tegoshi squirms and involuntarily pushes back. He’s breathing so quickly now, his nerves sparking with a need for more, unable to communicate it other than disjointed moans. Ryo seems to understand, though, stretching him enough to put in a third finger and Tegoshi loses all control of his body, thrashing as much as he can with Ryo on top of him.

“It’s so hot how much you want me,” Ryo whispers into his skin, lips dragging over to Tegoshi’s exposed throat. “ _You’re_ so hot.”

“Fuck me,” Tegoshi demands strongly enough for Ryo to groan. “Fuck me like you should have fucked me back then.”

“Yuuya…” Ryo trails off, like he wants to say something, but all he does is pull out his fingers and roll on a condom. Tegoshi lifts his knees to his chest and Ryo’s inside him, just like that, looping his arms around Tegoshi’s knees because he can’t reach any higher.

Tegoshi cries out, unconcerned about the neighbors or his voice or even Ryo’s ears as an urge he’s had since he was old enough to know what it was is finally satisfied. He finds Ryo’s hands and holds onto them tightly as Ryo thrusts into him, slowly at first but gradually building up speed.

It’s so perfect, everything else fading away as they move together, establishing a rhythm. Tegoshi pushes up in contrast, taking Ryo deeper inside him, and his nerves feel like they’re ready to explode from the pressure. It takes a lot to remove his hand from Ryo’s skin, but then he’s wrapping it around himself and can’t even think with as loud as his noises are.

He’d wanted to make this last, because who knows when it will happen again, if it does, but it all feels so good that he can’t stop. Ryo moans his name and that’s it, waves of pleasure crashing over him as he comes, spilling over his fingers and streaking his chest while his body clamps down onto Ryo.

“Come for me,” Tegoshi hisses through his orgasmic haze. “Wanna feel it.”

Ryo shudders on top of him instantly, like he’d just been waiting for permission, and Tegoshi holds him as he lets go, pulsing deep inside. They remain like that long enough for Tegoshi’s thighs to ache, trembling until Ryo guides them down and shifts his own body.

“Don’t leave,” Tegoshi whispers, grabbing onto Ryo’s wrist. “Not yet.”

“I’ll be right back,” Ryo assures him, disappearing long enough for Tegoshi to get cold, but the washcloth he runs all over Tegoshi’s body is warm. “Sleep over tonight?”

“I have work in the morning,” Tegoshi answers, but they both know that he’s not moving.

Ryo curls up next to him and draws in the thin layer of sweat on his chest. “I’m being picked up for drama filming at eight A.M.”

“What if someone sees us together?” Tegoshi asks, only a little serious.

“The only person in that van who even knows who you are is Chinen,” Ryo replies with a snort. “And that brat is asleep basically every minute he’s not on camera.”

“Ah, to be young again,” Tegoshi teases, and Ryo leans up to press a kiss to his lips.

“With you, I don’t have to grow up.”


End file.
